Sister Nova Nilla
Grants Chairnun
Sister Nova Nilla was born of the loins of Sister Sparkle Plenty way back in 2002.
The world has never forgiven Sister Sparkle!! ;-)}
Tho Sister Sparkle is my “mother” we have yet to determine who the father is!!!! And no one has stepped forward to claim the honor!!!. Sister Sparkle did her best to raise her first born, but, alas, it is what it is………Nova is “unique”.
Nova had this idea one day in 2003, to raise a little bit of $$$ for local charities by playing games with 175 big hairy bears. And what better way to play with all those guys, than to have them each pay to come into a huge hall and take off their shirts and play Bingo with Nova and Barbi and Sparkle and Dawna and Chastity and Ida and Carmelita and Mort and Wilma and Lou. Only 9 nuns and one soon-to-be–Saint (Lou - Saint Woof) put it all together and got it going. And that was the day the RR Sisters Bingo was born. It’s been going on every month since that first day. Of course now it’s not just for bears. And as of 2011 the RR Sisters Bingo has brought in close to $500K for local charities!!!!
Sister Nova has seen so many RR Sisters come and go and some have even joined the Nuns of the above…like her first born (Nova's first ever mentoring opportunity), Father Butch Whacker. Butch was a wonderful son, Sister, friend and we all miss him so. He created our condom ministry and made sure all the bars in Guerneville were well stocked with condoms for those who wanted one….or ten! Butch is always looking down on us from his throne up high, keeping us safe and humble.
Then Sister Nova gave birth to 11 (yes I said eleven!!!) new nuns. And thus the Eureka Sisters were born in 2006. They were christened the Abbey of the Big Red Wood and in 2007 they became a Fully Professed House!!! They are amazing and have raised both awareness and $$$ for their local Humboldt County community. I am soooooooooo proud of them!!!!!
Nova begat Russian River Sister Lena Genstme next. Lena has taken over the Bingo Chairnunship from Sister Nova (Yeay !!!! Finally!) Lena is also the current Condom nun. She took it over after Father Butch left us.
Anyways, after Lena came Nova’s next child, Sister Claire Voyante. Claire is a pillar in our local community. And not only is she loved unconditionally by Nova, She’s the biggest pain is Nova’s cute little ass!!!
And speaking of children, next came Sister Saviour Applause. Nova produced the mutha of all mutha’s with Saviour. Former military boy, current man-in-the-making. What a doer and a shaker…! He has taken over production of the RR Sister’s annual Closet Ball and turned it into a Broadway Production!!! Why Saviour is still single is beyond Nova’s comprehension. Somebody marry that nun quick!
Now, at last, (and possibly lastly, since Nova is having her tubescent tubes tied after the birth of this one), comes Father Bertha de Zoot. A “straight” man (yes, really) who is so amazing that Sister Nova can only stand back and say “sheeeit. How did I ever birth someone as cool as that!?!?!” Bertha is an Aikido Master. He put on a class for us where he taught us how to defend ourselves FOR REAL!!!!! Yeeowza!
Being a Sister has been FAAAABULOUSSSSSSSS (there's never enough esssezzzz in that word!!!), scary, fun, frustrating, a huge blessing, a shitload of work, with many long sleepless nights, unbelievably rewarding, and finally- like nothing I could have ever imagined. I have promulgated enough universal joy to last a bazillion lifetimes, or so it seems. I have expiated enough stigmatic guilt to keep me satisfied and guilt-free forever…I wish. And hopefully, there's many more years of false eyelashes (What! you thought those eyelashes I wear are REAL???!!!!) and petticoats and platform boots and rhinestones and glitter lips and chains and lace and leather and so much more to come!!!
I will ALWAYS be a Sister. It’s the best damn thing I have ever taken on in my life and I am so f’ing proud of myself for making this commitment happen and sticking to it…..
Check it out for yourself. It’s a calling. Are YOU being called?
All my love,
Sister Nova Nilla
of Saint Andrew's Crossing